I wondered for years what insanity was. I never quite knew, for as you see people say that I am more than just insane. It’s why I’m here, in this maximum security prison writing this book that may help shed some light on what true insanity is. However, I realized that the average human can’t handle the level of insanity that exists, so I will show you as far as the average humans mind will allow you to go into this inexplicable realm where even night mares have no end. Here is how it all started.
I was born to an average middle class family, one that had a few problems here and there but always rose to stop it. However, growing up I was always different, I learned much faster than my elder brother. I learned to walk in just 6 months, as my brother never learned until he was 15 months. I was in middle school by the age of 4 and graduating university even before my brother had completed elementary school. I did not stop becoming smarter as time went on, I learned tricks about the human brain and other ways of communicating with other humans. Growing up was however not exactly a pleasant experience, I was always picked on in classes because I was always the youngest one there. Life had come to haunt me in every phase, but I learned that you could not run away for it. So one day when I was about 19 years old I decided to make a stance.
One day, my brother approached me as I was looking for a book to read form the public library, even though I had already read most of the books in my small library. That day, I was particularly in a bad mood because of a fight we had the other day. We started to argue in the library. As it continued we started to draw a crowd. Then in the mist of the argument, my brother attacked me after seeing there was no way for him to win this fight. He knocked me down to the floor. When I got back up, I looked in to my brother’s eyes. He was laying on the ground with a thump as well. He started crying and panicking as if he was having a heart attack.
The local librarian thought it was a serious medical injury and called 9-1-1. Not long after, the paramedics had arrived along with the police officers as the crowd started to disperse. The paramedics took my brother to the hospital as soon as they arrived. The police questioned witnesses about what had just happened. They had told me not to leave the town.
My brother was pronounced dead in hospital later that day. The police officers assumed that I was somehow guilty of murder, took me away. This is when I started to go insane. I was in trial for homicide in court. I went into court representing myself. I knew much about law and learned even more about criminal law when I was locked up before the trial. I concluded that if I proved to the jury that I had not touched him, it would be satisfactory. Though I knew one plan could always be foiled, I entered with many. In court, my defence stood very well.
On the last day of the trial, the prosecution brought out one thing I really wish they didn’t. I knew it was all over, the jury knew of my ability to enter ones sub-conscious with a simple look and implant a memory that is so powerful, that they believe that it is happening to them as they look into my eyes. A little trick I picked up in an old book I found in my attic. Knowing that I did not want to be sentenced to life in prison, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I looked at the jury. They attempted to look away, however it was too late for them. They were put into an eternal nightmare. By then the cops were holding out there guns aimed at me. They approached with caution and tried their best to not look into my eyes. However, most of them were not that smart. With a mere look they froze, and fell to the floor. Though they were still alive, their bodies would never respond to them ever again. They were in a state where everything felt real, however nothing truly was. It would be days before they would wake up. However, for them it would feel like it had been years. Unfortunately, their bodies and brains would never recover. They would live a sad life or commit suicide seeing that there is no way to escape the horrors of what lies within.
Zap! One of the cops nearby hit me with his Taser. I quickly looked over at him. He fell with a thud, however the electricity flowing into my body, drained me of energy quickly and within seconds I was gone. I woke up to find myself in a small room laying on a bed. There were no windows, just a small light bulb roughly 10 feet above me. There was a bed in a corner, a toilet, and a sink. I knew I was in a jail cell. There was no door to this little room, which made me wonder how they got me in here in the first place.
An intercom speaker turned on and said “Hello.”
“Hello” I replied.
“My name is Lee, I will be one of your handlers at your stay at the New York maximum security prison.”
I remained silent.
“You have been charged with life in prison with no chance of parole, so get comfortable because you’re going to be here for a while” he continued.
By now I had realized that there was a chain running from my right hand and into the celling. There was also some sort of tube going into my right hand. There was a small irregularity in the solid concrete walls that made up the room. This was probably where the door was hiding. I moved towards it, however the chain restricted me from moving any further.
“Alright back to sleep” I heard. I fell asleep almost instantly.
I woke up sometime later. I predicted roughly 1 hour. Thought the sedative had put my body to sleep, my brain functioned properly. I had time to think of how to escape. However, I understood that as long as this chain was attached to me I would not be able to escape, judging from the weight of it, I believed that it was cast iron, or a steel alloy. Either way there was no way for me to take it off. Also there was no way to open the door from the inside. They probable had a camera inside which allowed them to see when I had woken up. I knew what to do to get out. I would need to implant a specially designed chip into the guard to convince them to let me free. That would only be the beginning of the escape. There would still be other guards who would shoot away at anyone trying to escape. It would take time to come up with a way to escape from this place. Also I had not completely learned how to implant a specially designed chip which would allow for me to convince someone to do something for me, let alone how I would create such a microchip.
8 years past and I was still in the very room that I woke in. Every time I woke up there was food on the ground. I had eventually found out where the speaker and camera were located. It was already very difficult for myself to implant specially designed chips into people. It became even harder now that I had to do it through a camera and force them to do a specific set of moves which would lead them to my room. Another obstacle was the fact that I don't know the route from the observer room to my cell, and then I’m faced with the task of them having to open it.
Life always followed the same schedule. There was never any difference between days. So I started to experiment. My first test was to send a thought deep inside myself like I did to others. It was followed by sending it though the shadow and into the camera and observing if I could do any effect. I then meditated and went further and explored the boundaries of my mind.
One day, things changed. There was a new voice. It was feminine, bold, high pitched, and I could recognize it from miles away. It was my mother. She had come to talk to me about why I had killed my brother and all the other people at the court room. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to test bringing someone else into my mind, and so I did. I brought her in. While in my mind, I knew she was in complete terror. She believed that she had somehow entered my room, for that is how I had constructed the area in my head of how I wished to communicate with her.
“Hello, mom,” I said.
“This is where they have you locked up? My god, the living conditions are terrible!”
“Mother, none of that now! Tell me how long has it been since they locked me away? What has happened to the outside world? Is father still ok?”
“It’s been 4 hours since you arrived here, how long have you believed you were here? As for the outside world, it's still just as bad as when you left. Your father isn’t taking it quiet well, he’s talking to some people to see what he can do to get you out.”
I couldn’t believe it. It had only been 4 hours since they locked me away. It had felt like years pass by. There was definitely something wrong. I tried to expel her from my mind, however she wouldn’t leave.
“You seem so full of yourself, thinking you can kick me out of your own mind, you may have learned the families secrets. But you have not achieved total control over it yet, I knew from the moment I arrived that you would try to suck me into your mind. That’s why I brought you into mine, disguised as your own. A place where I control everything. That’s why I induced you to what u believed was 8 years of life even when very little time had really gone on”
"Yes, something that has long run in our family, however what you have done is unforgivable. That is why I shall do to you, what you did to your brother.”
The pain started seeping in, there was a flood of other emotions that came with it. The prison room broke open, and I started to fall. There was something down there. It was massive and felt like I was going to fall into it. However, I was smart child. I did not panic. I started to analyze the situation, this was clearly a memory my mother had created and inserted into me. There was nothing I could do expect wait it out. Also I realized that the prison room was also just a figment of her imagination. She had me believing I was trapped in there. This meant that most of the time had already passed by, so the nightmare should be ending now. It didn’t end. I lasted for what felt like millennia. It just kept getting worse. I eventually even lost my cool and went spiralling out of control. After what could have been thousands of years, I woke up. It was a glass room. I looked out the window and saw I was high above the New York skyline, home. Standing behind me was my mom. The anger of all the time I spend in that memory, drove anger from the bottom of my heart out. I began to steam. I let go of all my bounds. I let everything I had learned lose. I killed my own mother.